Why do I know this?
Don’t click this link:
Britney spears was photographed crying while barefoot. Why do I know this? I don’t care. At all. The reason I know, it turns out, is because Google considers this piece of irrelevant information “news” enough to include it in the Google News RSS feed. It makes me angry, because this is clearly not news. Millions of people cry everyday. Billions of people are barefoot every day. But apparently enough celebrity-worshiping Americans care about this that it becomes news. So I plead to you: do not click that link. Quit caring about Britney. If we all band together in apathy, maybe I will be able to go through a single day without knowing the status of Britney Spears’ foot-coverings.